Touch Your Heart

Bless me to touch your heart,

and I'll let you touch mine.

Let me wrap my arms around your mind

before our bodies intertwine.

So much emphasis is put on the physical senses.
What we can see feel and touch, especially when it comes to the "laws of attraction" or what our respective societies tell us is beautiful and desirable in a partner.
Everything is so superficial--with songs out like "I invented sex" and "Put you to bed" It shifts the emphasis of relationships to what is physically pleasurable instead of what is long lasting and eternal. Call me old fashioned but the most attractive, well one of the most attractive, things in a man is the quality of him wanting to know my mental and emotional, and spiritual ins and outs before he even dares to consider my body.
So that our connection will be deeper than the ignition of that divine spark of pleasure.

Food for your mental,
AJ

So much to be grateful For :)

God is so awesome. 

Everyday I become more aware of how much he loves me. So many good things are happening in my life right now, and have been since I came to college.  I went through some pretty traumatic experiences as a child, and as a got older I went through the “why me’s?” a lot actually. Sometimes I feel like God is giving me a break—like he’s saying “I’m sorry that your life sucked for the first 18 years. Now this is your time, go and be happy. I love you” I’ve been blessed to see his love manifest in so many ways during the past 4 years of my life.  I am so grateful for the little things that I experience that are his I love you’s. Like the night market lady dashing me an extra piece of chicken. Or having three different friends prepare meals on the same day and invite me to join in. Or showing me that love in the human form can be beautiful and trustworthy.

He loves me, he loves you, he loves us all. :)

Who Will Cry for the Little Girl?

Who will cry for the destitute among us?

I am learning now, how to cry for me-- and while this process will no doubt take a lifetime,  my soul won’t be consumed with tears. At least not of my own accord. The mountain I’m climbing starts and ends with me looking in the mirror and seeing myself, and coming away with the feeling that my scars don’t make me any less beautiful.  It’s so easy to cry for others. To acknowledge their pain, and even pretend that you can aid them in recovery. Crying for your self is the hardest thing of all because you, first, have to admit that something is awry. I wasn’t taught how to do that. Thankfully I have been surrounded by others that tend to shine their lights on me, until I was forced to surrender to reality. So now as I’m getting myself together, and learning how to live and love me, I will humbly surrender to love. But it’s not enough for me to live in my bliss filled bubble, while the ones around me suffer in silence. I thank God that I have the hands and feet to do work. Alls I gotta do now is dig in with both hands and all feet. I want to give people that hugs were promised but the embrace was never fulfilled.  The love that was made manifest but that was never “real”. I’ll cry for and with them, because no one ever cried for me. 

What Is Your Father's Name?

That's what the tall ebony complected man asked me. He spoke in a language called Twi (pronounced tree). I had to answer in English because my limited vocabulary did not permit me to speak in his native tongue. I had to say that I didn't know. That I was from the United States, and that all I knew is that Someone Somewhere came from Africa. The words bu as they escaped my mouth. It felt like the spotlight was on us, our conversation. Today was the first time that I actually felt lost, and unaware of myself. Why is it that I do not know where I come from. What is my father's name. To say Craig would be erroneous. He looked at me and told me that I looked like a Ghanaian, he said I had  the skin color and the shape of my nose was a dead giveaway. I'm not sure how accurate he was but it was nice to have a home for a brief moment in time. I almost felt embarrassed that I didn't know my people. Here in Ghana, your name and clan is everything. It determines everything from your last name to the language you speak at home, even your inheritance. It is filled with such rich tradition that I long to be apart of. That's why I changed my name to Akosua ( Aah-co-See-ah). It's based on the day I was born, Sunday. Most girls have a name such as this as the middle name. All of this makes me really want to trace my family's history. I understand that it won't be a hundred percent accurate because of the unfortunate circumstances that African slaves were placed under. Families were separated, languages were lost, and somewhere down the line the blood of white slave masters was mixed in. But it would be nice to a have a general idea, so I don't have to falsely claim an identity. Its nice to pic a place on the map and decide that I want "pretend" that I am descended from any particular place. But that's just to compensate for the fact that I have no idea at all.

That's all for now,
AJ

Afrika The Beautiful

I Know I'm already two weeks in but work with me here. My computer has finally decided to cooperate with me and I'm not complaining. There's so much to say about this beautiful Continent I'm on, about this country that I'm in. First off the weather here in Accra is phenomenal. Accra is on the coast so there's always a great breeze. The breeze alone makes me want to stay here forever. It beckons me into the night and gently rocks me to sleep. I admit that I had notions about the motherland before I even touched down. Many of which weren't too positive. I think I expected it to be far less industrialized. I think I expected to get here and think "This is Africa!", if that makes any sense at all. But the time I entered the country, to the drive to my hostel, I realized that Accra was just another city. I say that with as much positive intention as possible. People weren't running around in loincloths and spears chasing lions. Most Ghanaians dress with a strong western influence. Esp. the men. They walk around in dress pants, collard shirts and really nice shoes. What I'm trying to say is that Ghanaians, Africans, are just people. But we all know that right? I know people that refer to Africans as if they are some sub-human species. I wonder where they do that at?

Rainbows and Sunshine

With the time winding down 'til I'm outta here, I've found myself paying more attention to the little things.
Attempting to savor the feeling of breathing in "America".
I find myself looking at people differently, not simply allowing them to pass me by, but attempting to listen to their whispers of stories untold.
On an average day you encounter, what, over a hundred people? And I've noticed that the faces of many of these people read quite grimly. Who is it that said the eyes are the window to the soul?
This adage has become more real to me with the passage of time. And if it's true, and the expression that you wear on your face shows what kind of spirit you have, then I want a guy with a smile so wide, his eyes turn to slits when he sees fit to bless me with his laughter. And I'll have no choice but to rise when he shines. I don't know why anyone would ever want to walk around with an angry disposition. And then I think that no one would choose hold such a ornery demeanor, and instead its just reflection of the turmoil inside their soul. After all we are but spirits cloaked in human flesh.

"and we will live happily ever after, float to the rafters
caught up the in rapture,
where we were captured by each other's hearts
see we go together like rainbows and sunshine
this Son's mine and together we gon' shine"

lol at my befuddled attempt at rhythm,

*Sigh* of relief,
AJ

Let's Be Friends With an Added Benefit

Friendship

By far one of God's greatest inventions.
The beauty of friendship is that, unlike family, you get to choose these individuals to be apart of your life.
It is your decision to allow them to share in your joy, hopes, and sorrow.
As I grow older I am beginning to understand and appreciate the true friends that I have in my life.
More recently I have begun to encounter friendships with those of the male persuasion.
And I'll admit they hit me like a ton of bricks.
Like a lighting they burst into my life without the slightest crack of thunder.
Friendships of this particular variety must be handled delicately, because they could combust without a moments notice.
With all of the power they pack, its no wonder that they can be some of the most rewarding experiences.
When you find a man that is worthy to be called "friend", its an occasion to be celebrated.
One thing I've learned is that close intimate friendships with members of the opposite sex are needed. They teach you things that you wouldn't have otherwise learned from girlfriends, or  books, or magazines. It takes a special kind of man to be a true friend, and to not take advantage of the delicacy that can sometimes be found in women. To not make a move on her when its just the two of you, alone, sharing emotional intimacy.

But what happens when you get to a point where you get so close that you feel the only logical next step is to enter into a completely committed relationship, and you find that one person isn't ready for that?
Do you write them off as last weeks hot topic, and get on to the next one? If that happens I would question whether you were truly friends to begin with.

It's even more special when you realize that he is not going to be around just for the moment, you know while he's single, but as soon as another women comes along he's gone just as quickly as he'd come.
I have encountered these guys all too often. These are the one's that aren't content with just your friendship.
They want more, without ever really giving your friendship time to blossom into what could potentially be a great relationship. To those men I say that if you can't handle my friendship why would I want to be in a committed relationship with you? Isn't the title called "girlFriend"?


And then I snap back into reality and remember a time when I was that girl that wasn't content with just being friends. I always wanted to rush into a relationship. She and I were one of a kind until I recently took the time to get my priorities straight. Or could it be that I know, no guy wants to be in a relationship with someone who's going away for 9 months. I have been able to understand that some friendships should remain just that. To take them further could be detrimental to both parties, and might extinguish the fire that burns between the two souls. Either way I'm settled on appreciating the benefits of a truly platonic friendship.