I'm DROWNING
In my thoughts and MIND
In a sea of insecurities
Unsure of myself or present condition
Floating helplessly above my body, I watch.
The
My body sinks to the bottom of pain.
Where were you when I needed you to hold and comfort me?You SAW me falling but never came to my rescue.
You begrudgingly threw me a line, but I couldn't grasp it.And you JUDGE me for my inability to fight back.
Criticizing my every move.
My kick ball change wasn't as smooth as your groove.
I have been treading these waters for 21 years, and my legs have long since become fatigued.
I NEEDED you to hold and PROTECT me.
To be patient and loving.
To do no more harm than what I already knew.
Be my shoulders and strength.
I have been resting my head on shoulders of broken dreams and lost hopes.
And I watch you, watch me, drown.
And maybe new birth will come from this life that I've lost.
But it's hard for me to separate the present from the past.
Hard for me to LOVE again.
Hard for me to be free.
Hard for me to understand.
My thoughts crumble to the ground like ashes.
Surrounding me, they choke me.
The air I used to breathe was clean and free.
Now I gasp. Trapped.
Trying to become what I used to be.
AJ
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