Not My Will Lord, But thy Will be Done

..........Its easy to say that where ever the Lord leads us to go that we will follow Him there; but what if that means doing something that we might not want to do. The reason I bring up the topic is because I have been seeking God for guidance in my major and career. I am currently a biology major studying to become a doctor. I thought I wanted to become a doctor since I was in grade school. He has blessed me with the intelligence, and I just always thought that this is what He wanted me to do. I was sure of it until this last semester, when it became really difficult for me to study and I lost the passion that I thought I once had. So I decided that during this winter break that I would take the time to really seek God about my career. It made me strongly question whether or not a doctor was what I was going to be. I have been wrestling with my purpose on this earth for quite a while. It was literally tearing me apart. During my meditation I thought that I heard God say that I was supposed to be an English major. A what?! Yes that's exactly what I thought. Its funny how I kept asking him what he wanted me to be in life; but I really don't think that I wanted to hear his answer. I wanted him to tell me that I was going to become a surgeon. The best cardio-thoracic surgeon to ever grace the world's stage. But he didn't and he still hasn't. Being an English major was the last thing that I wanted to hear. I keep thinking about being a disappointment to by family. I know that they are all rooting for me to become their doctor. I want to run away from it, but in my head and heart I know that I have to keep saying "not my will Lord but thy will be done." I Keep thinking about Jesus and how we asked that the cup of crucifixion be passed from him, but then he quickly snapped out of it and said not my will father but thy will be done. He knew that He had greater purpose to fulfill, and that that purpose could not be limited by his own discomfort. Not my will Lord but thy will be done.

Sincerely,

AJ