Living Like I'm Heaven Bound

So I'm a Christian. I don't like to say that (not because I'm embarrassed of my Jesus because I'm not). It's because so many people make claims to know Jesus but they don't actually have a walk with Christ, they sort of have this idea that he MAYBE exists. What I mean to say is when people talk about Christianity and organized religion, I think there is a very big misconception. My Bishop calls it lip-service and no action. My biggest fear is that I will not represent Christ in the right way. This goes beyond my outward actions. What I am talking about is my thoughts, you know, the way I judge people who aren't quite reaching the bar, or the way I watch this hot guy whose walking down the street. Do I lust after him. I don't know what I trying to say, really. I want my heart be right. My bishop, and other established Christians, always talk about Heaven. They dream about it, fantasize, try to fathom what it would will look like when they go and meet the Lord. But I don't, I guess that's because I know that you won't be able to enter the kingdom unless you are without spot or wrinkle. Jesus help me to be without spot or wrinkle! Please clean me up on the inside and wash me on the outside. Deliver me from my thoughts and give me a humble spirit!